Kevin Smith's Worst Film? Killroy Was Here (2022) Movie Review

The film is available on archive.org. Here is the link: Killroy Was Here (2022)

For the first 15 years or so Kevin Smith had a really great track record when it came to his films. He started out with the indie wonder, CLERKS, which was loved by audiences and critics. After the film's success, he moved on to his sophomore effort, MALLRATS, which was not loved by critics and Smith's growing fanbase wasn't all that enamored with it either. The film has become a cult classic and is loved by most of his fans. With the failure of MALLRATS, Smith went back to Miramax (MALLRATS was released by Gramercy Pictures) who had bought CLERKS, where he made CHASING AMY. This got him back in the good graces of the critics and his fans. The film was a much more mature look at Gen-Xers and how they find love in the weirdest places. 

The film was a hit and this gave him the clout to ask Miramax for $10 million dollars (his biggest budget at the time) to make DOGMA, which he promised would be his next film. It wasn't but it was made and it is really good. The film garnered a lot of controversy over the subject matter (religion) but the film was Smith's biggest hit at the time. The Weinsteins had to buy the film back from Disney (who owned Miramax at the time) just to get the film released after Disney forbade Miramax from releasing the film. I love that a film like DOGMA got Disney scared. 

Smith followed up DOGMA with JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, a road trip farce that Smith promised was going to be the end of the "Viewaskewniverse". He even had Alanis Morrisette who was reprising her role as God from DOGMA, closing the book of the "Viewaskewniverse" at the end of the credits. Smith wanted to move on and do other films. 

His first film after JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK was JERSEY GIRL, a film about a single father who has to raise his daughter on his own when his wife dies during labor. The film gained notoriety because it came at the end of "Bennifer" era when Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were everywhere. The film was actually delayed because Miramax wanted to distance themselves from the hate the two were getting at the time. It didn't help despite the fact that the film was really good, audiences didn't care and it was a flop. 

Smith went back to the well (his words) and made CLERKS II, one of the best films Smith has made. The film was well received and this lead Smith to making a Seth Rogan film, ZACK AND MIRI MADE A PORNO. Smith wanted to make a film that was a big hit so he teamed up with Rogan to make the film was all but guaranteed to make a ton of money. The thing was, audiences didn't care about this film either, despite the fact that the film was pretty good. 

After bombing with his first, and only, studio film, COP OUT, Smith decided the make a horror film. RED STATE was a dark story about a church that resembled the Westboro Basptist Church. You know them. They are the assholes that picket the funerals of soldiers. The film was dark and uncompromising. It was a completely different film that Smith  seemed to really love making.

After the success of RED STATE, Smith started down a rabbit hole that would give us some of his worst films. TUSK was half a good film but once we saw the human walrus, all horror was sucked out of the film and this made the film weird without purpose. He made YOGA HOSERS and a segment in the terrible anthology, HOLIDAYS along with the film I am talking about today: KILLROY WAS HERE.

Kilroy was Here was artwork that became popular during World War II and featured a guy looking over a wall, his big nose being the only thing we see of him, besides his eyes. This is not something that people under the age of 40 know anything about. So, it makes sense that Smith would make a horror film based on it 80 years after the artwork became popular.

KILLROY WAS HERE is an anthology film with four main stories along with a wraparound story. The wraparound features Harley Quinn Smith telling the four stories to a little girl who she is babysitting. Each story is around ten minutes or so and they all suck. 

Here is each story and my review:

The first story centers on a sick girl and her mother. The small town church the mother goes to is holding a fundraiser so the girl can get a heart transplant. The big reveal, which is completely obvious as soon as you see the sick girl and her mother, is that the mother has been poisoning her so the mother can con the entire town out of money. The girl actually thought she was sick. The mother and the girl go to the church as planned but the girl decides that she is going to call out her mother and everyone who helped her con the town. The girl summons Killroy who kills everyone.

I should explain who Killroy is. He was a guy who liked to kill. Didn't matter who or what he was killing. He just loved killing. He went to Vietnam where is was sent to kill the Vietcong. He was separated from his troupe and was discovered later on. He had "killed everyone within a ten mile radius of his location" and his appearance changed. He now looked like the artwork which means he looks stupid. Look at what Killroy looks like and try not to laugh.

Anyway, the next story is about two kids and their teacher. The kids keep disappearing with the teacher trying to find them. Every time she finds them, they are repeating an incantation. The film ends with the teacher being killed by Killroy for no reason other than the two kids didn't want to die. This story has one good thing about it. The boy kid brings up that he has been suspended before. Can't remember what for because who gives a shit?. The girl kid mentions that she too has been suspended. The teacher asks why and the girl responds with:

"The school used to have hamsters."

This is the best line in the film and I wish that Smith had saved it for something that was actually good. 

The next story is about a priest who is transporting two children whose parents brought them over the border. The parents have been detained and a priest has decided to take the kids to Disney World. In reality, the priest is taking the kids to this motel that is populated by nothing but priests who rape kids. The main priest tells the kids that he is "giving the kids a night they will always remember when they think of their time in the US." The kids call Killroy and he kills all of the priests. 

The final story features Chris Jericho, who plays a guy who lures pedophiles to the swamp where he calls them out on a live stream in the hopes they kill themselves. The wife of one of the guys who killed themselves traps Jericho and sends an alligator to kill him. Of course, Killroy shows up and kills some people. 

These four stories are rushed through so that Smith can get to Killroy. This means we know nothing about any of the characters in the film so there is nothing for us to get emotionally attached to. It's like Smith took the stories and told them in fast forward. This causes the stories to feel a lot longer than they actually are. Each of the stories is predictable and there no lesson to be learned. Every story ends with Killroy being summoned to kill people. 

Oh I forgot to tell you why he is called Killroy. You ready? His name is ROY and you have to KILL him in order to defeat him. Yes, that is really the explanation of why this guy is called Killroy.

Kevin Smith sold the film as an NFT in May of 2021 which meant that the people who bought it would be able to do with the film as they pleased. They could release the film in theaters or on video or upload it to YouTube or any other streaming site. Those who bought them sat on them for awhile until someone uploaded it to archive.org. This is how I was able to view it. 

KILLROY WAS HERE is Kevin Smith's worst film. He clearly didn't care about anything that was happening in the film and probably made it because he found financing for it. The film has no scares and barely even registers as a horror film. The gore is lame and Killroy's look is more funny than it is scary. Think of what the walrus looks like in TUSK and then think of something a hundred times worse. KILLROY WAS HERE is one of the worst films I have ever seen and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.